Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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