Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
wow bdsm is so cute
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
