Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I think we might need a safe word for this...
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
