So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.