But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I just gargled with NyQuil
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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