dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
