You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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