He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
