we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
