There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
