No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
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