remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
