dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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