I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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