They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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