I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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