Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
