Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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