yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Randomize
