haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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