Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Let's get the cat blown out
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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