we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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