Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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