All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
