I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
