I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
