And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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