we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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