im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
