"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
zippers are such a cool invention
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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