Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
