wakey wakey hands off snakey
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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