just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Randomize
