census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
May the power of my ass compel you!!
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Randomize
