I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
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