i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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