Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i wish my penis had a tongue
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Someone signed my nipple.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
