i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
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