i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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