Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
