You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
