i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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