Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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