Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
