Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
should my penis look like a turkey
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Randomize
