He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
