But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
