just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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