You made me cry and you don't even care
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
i think i just lost a toe
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
