I should be sponsored by Trojan
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I think a kid would responsible me up
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
