i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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