R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
