dude i'm inner monologue high
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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