i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
