Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
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