Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
do nipples grow back?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
