I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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