You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
