i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
My penis needs a shock collar
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize
