We need to rekindle our bromance
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
