I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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