ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
