im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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