Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
