Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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