is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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