You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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