i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
