I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
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