his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
